Dear Netflix,

Have you ever watched one of those movies on Netflix before with a title like “Falling Inn To Love” or “Innstant Love” or “Trapped Inn Love”? 

Me either.

But let’s say that I did, and I was inspired to write my own romantic movie plot. Maybe it would have a title like, “Goating for Love.”

And maybe the story would go something like this.

The scene opens on our main character Sarah as she rushes through big city traffic to her corporate job. She greets with her borderline co-dependent assistant who hands her an extra large coffee. This character’s name or backstory is irrelevant here. The assistant is solely concerned with pumping Sarah up for the big presentation, which is always imminent.

“Sarah, if this goes well, I’m going to make you partner. If this deal doesn’t happen, we’ll be having a different conversation.” Says her boss.

“C’mon, Sarah, you got this girl!” Says her assistant.

Sarah is nervous! But she’s a boss babe so she locks in the deal.

Everything is going for her: big city job, apartment, and a closet full of pencil skirts.
In the middle of all the celebrating the phone rings. It’s has a strange area code. Some small European country called Heiresstonia.

“Hello?”

“Hello” says a voice in a vaguely European accent. “Is this Sarah Sarahstin?”

“Yes, who is this?”

“I’m a representative from your estranged grandfather’s estate. He has died and left his massive goat farm to you. You must come right now. The goats are getting into trouble.”

Sarah goes into a panic. I have a grandfather? In Heiresstonia? I have goats?

“Girl, don’t worry, I’ll cover everything here. You go figure our your goats. You go girl!”

Cut to a run through the airport. No time for being tickets beforehand. Just straight to the counter like it’s 1985.

Touch down in Heiresstonia, and she hops into a cab with a vaguely European driver.

“Sarahstin place? Yeah, I know it.”

Sprawling fields, green acres, but she is a big city girl and needs reception!

“No reception here, I’m afraid.”

The house is beautiful and charming. An elderly woman waits on the front steps.

It’s her neighbor, Mabel or Margaret, it doesn’t really matter. She has a charming Irish (Scottish?) accent and a penchant for matchmaking.

What’s that sound? Oh, no the goats have gotten loose through that broken fence again. “Oh not again!” says Mary. “They’ll get on to the McCoy’s field, and he will be angry!”
Sarah drops her bags and runs after the goats and mayhem ensues.

An angry man with the physique of an Abercrombie model runs towards Sarah and the run away goats.

“I’ve told you before and I’ll say it again! Get your lousy goats off land!!”

“I’m trying! I’m a big city girl!”

Now they are fighting! They chase the goats and both get tangled in a clothes line. The goats eat the laundry.
Then they realize that they are both unnaturally good looking. But they’re still so angry!

“You owe me. Your goats ate my clothes!”

“You broke my fence!”

“When are these two going to see that they are made for each other?” wonders Martha.

Sarah adjusts to goat life. It is hard! She gets a call from her assistant.
“Everything is cool, girl. I got you covered. The big client is calling a lot. And so is your boss. But you good, girl!”

“Phew, boy, am I missing those giant coffees you brought me everyday! Goats are tougher to manage than big clients!”

Things in the big city are good. For now!

Montage of Sarah and farming scenes. Goat chewing things and getting into trouble. Melissa and neighbors looking on with chagrin. Generic pop song plays about climbing or fighting or making it to the other side.

There’s a town dance! It’s a tradition every year that when the goats get a hair cut. Who is there but surly neighbor. They have to dance together.

Oh no, they just changed it to a slow song. They dance.

He walks her back to the goats. Are they falling in love?

Matilda insinuates that angry farmer man, let’s call him Drew or David, it doesn’t really matter, has a big heartbreak in his past.

“I never thought I would see him smile again,” winking at Sarah.

Goats frolic.

The next morning he is fixing her fence. Feelings!

Montage of farming activities. Baby goats are born. He makes dinner. She’s staring to think she really enjoys small goat farm living. Or does she enjoy small town guy? But then Danny gets a call and has to leave, mysteriously. Is this related to the big heartbreak?

He explains that he and his former fiancé had plans to live on a goat farm, but she took the goats and ran off with his best friend. That was her on the phone demanding more goats.

He didn’t think he could ever trust someone else again. Until now.

But! A call from the assistant. “Gurrrrl, you’ve gotta get back here. Big boss is wondering where you are, the big client is gonna back out!”

“Big client is backing out? That means I could get fired! I could lose my big city life! Just when I started to love goats!”

She tells Dawson she has to go. But he was just learning to love again! He can’t take this betrayal. He goes to his goats.

What will she do…
Everything is hanging in the balance!

Sarah finds Marjorie sitting on the porch and pours her heart out, asking for her sage advice. Marge pauses, she stares thoughtfully into the night sky. In three words she sums up all the wisdom of a life time–“Follow your heart.”

With that, Sarah knows just what to do. She gets on that flight to the big city and heads straight to the boardroom.
Big boss and big client are staring her down.

In her goat farm overalls, she pitches a new idea–sustainable goat farming. Assistant stands in the back approving and mouthing, “I knew you could do it, girl.”

Big boss looks at big client. Big client looks at Sarah, who is expectantly waiting.

“I love it. We are in!”

Sarah has the farm and the big city job–but what about the small town guy??

She walks out of the building, excited but with a twinge of disappointment in her eyes as everyone congratulates her on having it all.

She looks up and who does she see at the bottom of the escalator waiting for her?

Dave! Or Drew! Whatever!

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be back in Heiresstonia? It’s goat haircut season.”

“Sarah, I was wrong. I thought you had to choose between your big city life or me, but you don’t. I was scared of getting hurt because of my previous relationship that was mysterious. I’m here now. If you’ll have me…and my goats.”

This is where she smiles and realizes a herd of goats wandering in a corporate office building.

“You’re going to need to keep your goats.”

“Okay…?”

“We’re going to need them for our sustainable farm backed by a majorly big client. Let’s go home! We have to go start our life together!”

Goats and unnamed office employees look on and clap.

Assistant winks.

Fade out on Sarah and Dominic embracing each other and goats.

THE END